As clićhed as it sounds, I just don’t know where the time has gone. It feels like only moments ago I was preparing for your 1st Birthday. Truthfully, it feels like only moments ago we were welcoming you into the world.
I simply cannot grasp that two whole years have passed us by!
To say you’ve come far just doesn’t do justice to the journey you’ve been on. In an ideal world, your journey would have been smooth – faultless – but this isn’t the case. We’ve had moments that have shaken me to the core, moments when I’ve just wanted to say enough is enough. There have been moments of heightened frustration, aggravation and desperation. Moments where I’ve felt as though I’ve completely failed you as a Mother, failed you as your spokesperson.
These moments have crept into our perfect lives and tried their best to break us down, tried to tarnish our spirits. They’ve tested our strength, they’ve tested our resilience. These moments have hit us when we’ve least expected…always when we had just started to believe we were eventually on course.
Girl, your attitude is astounding.
The day you were born, we nervously joked about the determination in your eyes – your Aunties (who are very special people to us) even have a funny anecdote about how the three of you first bonded. They were there, the moment your Doctor told us you couldn’t be stabilised. We hadn’t realised how poorly you were, hadn’t digested the full extent of your injuries. As myself and your Daddy sobbed hysterically to the nurses, they never left your side…guarding you like angels. You reached your arm above your head, glanced in their eyes and Superman stanced in a way which said ‘I’ve got this’. I still remember their giggles, an alien sound in a room so full of dread that lifted our mood and told us not to worry. From that moment, they’ve sworn they’ve never worried about you.
That determination you showed in your early days was always going to be your most admirable quality – even though we’re at a stage where that same determination can be a challenge. To say you know what you want is a complete and utter understatement. Still, through those more challenging moments, I can’t help stop and marvel at your bold character. It’s that same strength which eradicates any doubts I have about your future. If you approach everything with the same perseverance and persistence, there’s no end to what you could achieve.
Although life is becoming easier again, I embarrassingly admit is that I still struggle this time of year, I still panic. Each day is filled full of fleeting instances when I’m reminded of where you started. Sometimes it’s memories on my Facebook page, snippets of news, smells or things that people may say.
But life IS getting easier.
I can’t help but compare how you’re developing with your Brother. At 2, you can already speak much more clearly than he can. You have the same range of vocabulary and can hold a conversation. You no longer babble but communicate with ease and success – Language is already your strength and you’re already capable of voicing your emotions (something so many adults can’t even do). I can’t stress how happy this makes me! Your ability to communicate what you want will lessen the restrictions your disability will create. Having the strength and confidence to say what you need, ask for help, share your feelings will all make life so much easier and more enjoyable for you.
Language isn’t your only strength – hands down, my favourite personality trait of yours is your caring and empathetic demeanour. It’s another cliche that little girls are sweet and Motherly; this certainly rings true. You’re gentle and careful, delicate and particular. You care for all your toys with so much love and dedication, so much sentiment and adoration. You’ve so much respect for your environment and those around you that I just hope others treat you with the same level of kindness.
Today, I just hope you have a good day.
Thank you for blessing our lives, thank you for the best two years of my life…and teaching me I have the strength to survive the parts that get hard.